Viewing entries tagged
sad

our weekly call

i wasn’t sure when to begin

the post-its known by heart were stacked, folded, bent and hardly sticking

i had rehearsed the night before, i had played in loops worst case

scenarios: neutral responses dashed down in a scrawl

were top of the pile

an email sent the night before to soften the blow

had evoked enthusiasm;

he mentioned it first, providing prompting—

my motor mouthed monologue

an outpouring, out of order, of excuses and i love yous

to let him know about new deadlines, some opportunities, no more plans

his glass emptied as i came around to vocalizing gratitude

eight years i’ve been away, for six months they thought i was to stop it

he jokes of scotch to fill his chakras,

while i search for meaning, ‘still only in asia’

no more pretending to re-schedule

i don’t believe in time

i am here and gone