Viewing entries tagged
displacement

our weekly call

i wasn’t sure when to begin

the post-its known by heart were stacked, folded, bent and hardly sticking

i had rehearsed the night before, i had played in loops worst case

scenarios: neutral responses dashed down in a scrawl

were top of the pile

an email sent the night before to soften the blow

had evoked enthusiasm;

he mentioned it first, providing prompting—

my motor mouthed monologue

an outpouring, out of order, of excuses and i love yous

to let him know about new deadlines, some opportunities, no more plans

his glass emptied as i came around to vocalizing gratitude

eight years i’ve been away, for six months they thought i was to stop it

he jokes of scotch to fill his chakras,

while i search for meaning, ‘still only in asia’

no more pretending to re-schedule

i don’t believe in time

i am here and gone

settle in

to the day—

the anniversary,

uncelebrated,

once aspiring past the stage

of lightly dusted in

accomplishment,

now how changed?!—

corrugated to cardboard

the moment the decisions

recalcitrantly army-rolled,

were found set

-in

among the stains.